


Dee Reynolds: Queen to the King of the Rats

by goodpersonwithafetishforevilpeople



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Awkward Boners, Begging, Charlie Kelly: King of the Rats, Come Eating, Creampie, Crying, Cuddling & Snuggling, Dirty Talk, Dom/sub, F/M, Flirting, Intimacy, Kissing, Making Out, Massage, Oral Sex, Past Rape/Non-con, Praise Kink, Romance, Sexual Tension, Situational Humiliation, Teasing, Vaginal Sex, Voice Kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-03
Updated: 2019-10-03
Packaged: 2020-11-23 03:48:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20885618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goodpersonwithafetishforevilpeople/pseuds/goodpersonwithafetishforevilpeople
Summary: "Ohhhh," Dee sighs blissfully when she feels the tension kneaded from her fasciae a few minutes after she hears the door click shut. "Mmmm..." She luxuriates in the lavender scent of the oil being rubbed into her skin and in the feeling of her muscles being pampered to relaxation, all the stress evaporating from her, floating away on the notes of the quiet melody that imbue the room with an ambience reminiscent of divinity. "Ohhhhh fuck..."





	Dee Reynolds: Queen to the King of the Rats

"Is that a bird with TEETH?" Mac asks, unable to reasonably comprehend what he's seeing as he and his friends examine Charlie's dream book to find ideas for the crestfallen little rat basher's birthday.

"I think it is," Dennis confirms. He chuckles as he nudges Dee and teases, "It kind of looks like you, sis."

"Oh, shut up, dickhole," Dee dismisses as she rolls her eyes at her brother's asinine teasing. She can't help but notice that he isn't exactly wrong, however. She scrutinizes the yellow-feathered bird that's staring up at her with large, bright blue eyes. It's probably just a coincidence that it appears to have other anthropomorphic features that specifically resemble her, as well; she doesn't think she's ever seen a bird so skinny. That's ridiculous, though... Why would SHE be in Charlie's dream book?

"Alright," Mac declares as he closes the book. "Dennis, let's get started on this stuff; I think I've got some ideas. Dee, you're gonna keep Charlie away."

"Away from what?" she asks.

"From the bar, his apartment - Anywhere Dennis and I might be working on his dream book surprises."

"And just how the hell am I supposed to do that?"

"I don't know!" Mac sighs. "Take him for a - a nice spa day or something."

"Oh!" Dennis pipes up. "I've actually got some spa coupons. Here," he says as he retrieves them from his pocket and gives them to his sister.

"You just carry spa coupons with you?" she retorts as she nevertheless takes them and puts them in her jeans pocket. She leads the men back to the bar from Charlie's and Frank's apartment as she ignores whatever exasperated excuses Dennis is huffing. She leaves Mac and Dennis alone in the bar almost as soon as the three of them arrive and steps out into the alley to see Charlie fiddling with some sort of... toy... raccoon? The fuck is he doing? It doesn't matter. "Heeey, Charlie!" she lilts as she smiles down at him. "Hey, hey, listen, you've been really stressed lately, sooo... I thought I would take you for a spa day, just you and me!" 

"A what day?" Charlie asks as he squints up at her.

"A spa day!"

"What is this word, "spa"? I feel like you're starting to say a word, but you're not finishing it. What are you trying to say? Are you trying to say "spaghetti"? Are you taking me for a spaghetti day?"

"No, I'm - Oh, goddamnit! You know what, never mind. Why don't we go see a movie? How does that sound?" Dee suggests with a grin that she forces onto her face to conceal the frustration that she can already feel coursing through her veins at Charlie's general incompetence.

Charlie grimaces as he considers Dee's suggestion. "I don't know, Dee... You know, I go to a movie or a spaghetti place with you and out there I'm the rat."

"What? Charlie, what are you talking about?" Dee demands. The metaphor makes absolutely no sense to her. She doubts that it would make sense to anyone other than Charlie, quite frankly.

"I just..." Charlie sighs as his mouth tenses closed. He puts down his raccoon car as he scratches the back of his neck and sheepishly avoids Dee's eyes.

"Charlie?" Dee prompts softly as she squats down and gently tilts his chin up with sure fingers. "What do you mean?"

"I just... People just... You know, the rats didn't actually do anything wrong," he mumbles in a manner that's as close to inaudible as it is close to incoherent, "and I didn't even do anything wrong, but I'm still getting them just because they're there, and he got me just because I was there, so in a way I'm no better than him, but of course I'd never do what he did, but maybe killing is worse, but it's just rats, but -"

"Whoa, whoa, Charlie, hold on there, bud. Who? What are you talking about?"

"What?" Charlie asks as he appears to break from some sort of daze or trance. "What? Nothing. What? What were you saying, Dee? You want to take me to a movie? And then have some spaghetti? Yeah, yeah, let's do that," Charlie declares as he gets to his feet.

"Uh..." Dee feels like Charlie's strange mumbling really shouldn't just be brushed off like this, but she chooses to respect his desire not to speak further of it as she hurries after him in the direction of the cinema.

When they arrive at the theatre, Dee notices that there aren't a lot of movie options this early in the day. She decides on an action movie, which is playing in 3D. She pays for Charlie, as well, since the outing was her suggestion, and hands him his pair of 3D glasses as she leads him into the darkened theatre.

"Whoa!" Charlie exclaims giddily when an explosion booms through the theatre. "Dee, this is so cool!"

"Charlie, have you never been to a 3D movie before?" Maybe he's never even been to the movies, she realizes as she recalls how amazed he'd been at the size of the cinema.

"Nah, Dee, I've - Oh, shit!" Charlie feels his heart jump when some shrapnel from the terrifying explosion appears to come flying at him through the screen. "Is this safe?" he asks as he clings to her in fear, his hands wrapped snugly around her bicep.

Dee feels a tug within her chest as she turns to look at Charlie entrusting her with his sense of safety. She can't help but smile sympathetically as she runs her hand through his hair. Her heart warms when she hears him sigh and whimper softly as he snuggles closer to her at the feeling of her fingernails dragging soothingly over his scalp.

Charlie doesn't realize how close he'd come to falling asleep cuddling Dee until the movie ends and the lights of the theatre force his eyes open and awaken him fully. He looks up at Dee, who's smiling warmly at him as she continues to massage his scalp.

"Have a nice nap?" she teases.

"I wasn't sleeping," Charlie says groggily as he yawns.

Dee laughs. "Sure. Come on, Charlie. I'm still treating you to the spa."

"Oh!" Charlie says excitedly as he gets to his feet. "Right, the spaghetti!"

"No," Dee laughs, beginning to see the strange charm in Charlie's incompetence. It's not really incompetence; it's... innocence. Somehow, the world is perpetually new to him, and it's kind of endearing. "I'm taking you to a place where people will massage you, and it'll feel really good."

"Oh," Charlie says, sounding almost disappointed. "Well... Can we get some spaghetti first?" he asks as he follows Dee down the steps of the theatre.

"Well... We don't really have time -"

"I'll get it to go," he decides by way of compromise.

"How would that -? You know what? Fine," Dee concedes as they step back out into the sunlight.

Charlie beams happily at Dee's willingness to accommodate him. The resulting pep in his gait causes him to walk slightly faster than Dee down the sidewalk and the streets, which glitter almost like sand or snow in the glaring afternoon sun.

"What is your spaghetti policy here?" Charlie asks once they finally arrive at the spa after having stopped off at his and Frank's apartment for some spaghetti to go.

"Oh, goddamnit," Dee mutters as she steps in front of Charlie to spare the receptionist from this nonsense. "Sorry about that," she says as she hands the receptionist the coupons. "I'd like to redeem these."

"Of course," the receptionist says cheerfully. "A masseuse will be right with you."

"Thanks," Dee smiles. She turns to Charlie, whom she almost can't believe is eating spaghetti from a Ziploc bag in the lobby of a spa. "Almost" being the operative word. "Charlie, you can't take that inside once we -"

"Are you next?" a woman clad in a somewhat clinical uniform asks as she enters the lobby. "The couple? We have a room ready for you."

"Great," Dee says as she abandons the argument she was inevitably about to have with Charlie as the two of them follow the masseuse into a warm room filled with relaxing harp music drifting softly down from the speakers in the ceiling.

"I'll leave the two of you to undress, and then Sandra and I will be with you within ten minutes," the woman says as she exits, clicking the heavy door shut behind her.

"What?" Charlie says with evident panic as his eyes widen. "Undress? Dee, you didn't say anything about undressing!"

"Charlie," Dee sighs impatiently as she casually strips down to only her panties. "What did you think a spa was?"

"You just said we would be getting massaged! Why do we have to get NAKED for that?"

"Seriously?" she retorts as she folds her clothes and places them on a chair. "You'll be naked in the goddamn SEWERS, but not here?"

"Everything alright?" the masseuse asks as she raps gently upon the door. "We're coming in."

Charlie sighs heavily in annoyance at the situation. He sits down resolutely in a vacant chair as Sandra and the masseuse from before enter the room. "I'll just observe," he declares to the women as he scoops another bite of spaghetti into his mouth.

"Oh," the other masseuse - Sandra - says as Dee lays down on one of the two pristine, inviting cots. "Well, your coupons cover two people..."

"Just toss the other one," Charlie says through a mouthful of spaghetti.

The other masseuse turns to Sandra and shrugs. "I guess we don't need you. Sorry."

Sandra shrugs as she leaves her co-worker with the bizarre couple.

"Ohhhh," Dee sighs blissfully when she feels the tension kneaded from her fasciae a few minutes after she hears the door click shut. "Mmmm..." She luxuriates in the lavender scent of the oil being rubbed into her skin and in the feeling of her muscles being pampered to relaxation, all the stress evaporating from her, floating away on the notes of the quiet melody that imbue the room with an ambience reminiscent of divinity. "Ohhhhh fuck..."

Charlie chokes on a noodle about halfway through Dee's massage when she moans in what sounds incredibly akin to sexual ecstasy. Her other vocalizations had been ambiguously sensual, but when she curses like she's getting fucked like a goddamn whore at the way the masseuse digs the heels of her palms into Dee's back, Charlie's sudden and unexpected boner temporarily rids him of the capacity to chew. "Dee!" he gasps as he sputters in panic and attempts to cough.

"Oh!" The masseuse's eyes widen as she startles at the sight of the man turning red in the face as he tries to hack up the noodle he accidentally swallowed the wrong way.

Dee looks up at the commotion and the premature cessation of her massage. "Charlie!" she exclaims with concern as she jumps off the cot and hurries over to him. She hoists him from his chair and locks her arms around him from behind. She's never actually administered the Heimlich maneuver before, but she does her best. She manages to successfully dislodge the noodle from Charlie's throat as she watches it fly onto the floor.

Charlie takes a deep, grateful breath as his face returns to its natural healthy colour. It reddens again, however, when he notices that his arousal has only become more pronounced in his current position, held within Dee's naked embrace. "Um... Thanks, Dee."

"No problem. Are you okay?" Dee asks as she lets go of Charlie and stands before him.

"Yeah. Um... Maybe we can head out now?" he asks shyly as he glances at the masseuse and grimaces apologetically.

"I'll let you get dressed," the masseuse says to the woman, eager to be done with these eccentric clients.

Dee gets dressed and thanks the staff as she and Charlie exit the spa.

"Where are we headed to now?" Charlie asks as they walk down the sidewalk along the busy street. He disposes of his soon emptied Ziploc bag in a trashcan that they pass after turning a corner.

"My apartment, and then we're gonna go to Paddy's."

"Oh. Okay. What do we need from your apartment?"

Dee turns to smirk at Charlie. "You'll see."

They continue to walk in silence until Charlie says with a slight, awkward chuckle, "You, uh, really seemed to enjoy that massage. Sorry I kind of ruined it."

"You didn't ruin it," Dee says with a knowing glimmer in her eyes and that same satisfied smirk. She hadn't really planned on doing anything sexual with Charlie, but going to a movie together, followed by a couples massage, does constitute sort of a romantic day out. Those activities didn't exactly turn out to be romantic, though, or even very fun for Charlie, which is largely how Dee justifies her plans to revive Charlie's thus far disappointing birthday.

Charlie's blush returns as he realizes what Dee seems to be implying she noticed. "Um, sorry," he says with obvious embarrassment as they approach Dee's apartment. "I hope you're not creeped out or anything. It's just that you were, like, moaning and - and naked, and - and, like -"

"Charlie," Dee interrupts sternly as she unlocks her door to let them inside. She grins when Charlie shuts up immediately. He looks curious and a bit lost as he gazes at her with wide, attentive eyes. Reasonably assured by his earlier reaction that he wants this, as well, she pushes his back up against her apartment door as it clicks shut and kisses him hard. She smirks against his mouth as he opens it to moan into hers when she runs her nails over his scalp as she'd done in the movie theatre. She grinds against the erection that's straining in his fly as she explores his mouth with her tongue. He tastes like spaghetti, but instead of finding that gross, Dee just finds it... Charlie. Endearing in the odd way that only he can be. She slips her tongue out of his mouth to whisper against his lips, "Tell me what you want, Charlie. What do you want, baby?"

Charlie whimpers quietly at the endearment. "You," he pants.

"Yeah? What do you want me to do?"

"I don't care. Anything. I just -" Charlie swallows thickly as he admits, "I want to hear you make those sounds again. I want to please you. Just show me how to please you, Sweet Dee."

Dee feels a rush of arousal dampen her panties at Charlie's submissive eagerness. She yanks him away from the door by the collar of his shirt to lead him into her bedroom. She strips him of his shirt, then of the rest of his clothing before pushing him down onto her soft bed. "Keep your hands at your sides," she instructs as she bends down to swallow his cock.

"Fuck!" Charlie gasps as he grips the sheets to accommodate Dee's instruction. He lets his eyes roll towards the ceiling as he savours the incredible sensation. "Sorry!" he says hastily when his hips accidentally buck up to nudge the head of his cock against Dee's throat.

Dee can feel her panties cling to her slick pussy at Charlie's desire to be good for her clearly battling his desire to just take her. She smirks when she releases his cock to stand and shed her clothes onto the floor. She straddles Charlie's hips and holds him steady as she lowers herself onto him. She can feel his thighs trembling beneath her as her pussy swallows his cock. She rides him at a languid pace as she smiles down at him. "You want to fuck me, don't you?"

Charlie nods fervently, desire shining in his eyes like emeralds.

"Hmmm..." Dee deliberates, enjoying the power she wields over her friend right now. "What will I get in return?"

"Anything. Everything. I promise I won't come until you do, and then after I come, I'll lick you clean until you come again on my tongue. Please let me fuck you, Dee. Please, I'll be such a good boy for you."

"Yeah?" Dee pants as she picks up her pace. "You gonna be good, baby?"

"Yes," Charlie says emphatically, so eager to make good on his word.

"Okay," she grants with a smile. "Fuck me, baby boy. Fuck me until I come on this hard fucking cock."

Charlie reaches up to grip Dee's slender hips as he begins to fuck her passionately. He feels a thrill shoot through his entire body when a loud moan finally leaves her lips, parted in a perfect "O," the absolute sexiest embouchure. "You look so fucking sexy, Dee. You like getting fucked like this?"

"Yes! Oh, fuck! Oh, Charlie!"

"Yeah?" he grits as he fucks her even harder, her breasts jiggling with the repetitive force her body's absorbing. "Show me how much you like it."

It doesn't take much longer for Dee to fulfill Charlie's request as she squeezes his cock like a vice. She moans like a goddamn porn star as she comes all over his stiff cock, drawing his orgasm out with hers. She sighs just as erotically as they both pant heavily as the euphoria gradually ebbs. She finally collapses beside Charlie when she feels him soften and slip out of her. She lets her eyes slip closed, but not for very long before they fly open at the glorious sensation between her thighs. She tightens both her hands in his sweaty hair as he eats her out like a starving man, his lips moulding to the intimate intricacies of her body, his tongue lapping up every drop of his release. She hears her phone chime with a text on the nightstand, but she ignores Mac and Dennis in favour of allowing her second orgasm of the evening to wash over her as she bucks against Charlie's buried face, further drenching his beard. "Come up here," she pants as she tugs on Charlie's hair, urging him to lean over her until his face meets hers. She kisses him hard, tasting herself. It's so much hotter than the taste of spaghetti.

"Mmm," Charlie murmurs at Dee's enthusiasm. He finds it incredibly hot that she likes the taste. Eventually, they stop making out and just lay next to each other, sated and serene. Charlie feels his eyes close as he yawns. The ghost of a smile graces his tired lips when Dee's hand slips into his, sweat adhering their palms to one another.

Dee reaches over for her phone with her free hand to respond to her brother's text: "Sorry, Charlie's asleep. That's great that you guys got the dream book stuff, though. I'm pretty sure I already gave him one of the things in it today, though, so we'll just do the rest tomorrow." She clicks her phone off and sets it back on the nightstand after she hits "Send." She closes her eyes, but just as she's about to drift from consciousness, she hears a somniloquent murmur from Charlie.

"No... No," Charlie murmurs in his sleep. "Night Man, don't..." He whimpers as he pleads, "Make it stop... Just bash me like a rat. Just... bash me..." He begins to cry quietly.

"Shhhh, shhhh," Dee soothes as she squeezes his hand and runs her other hand through his hair. "It's okay, Charlie. I'm here, baby. I'll protect you. No one's gonna hurt you anymore. Whether it's from unsafe 3D movies or dangerous spaghetti or a disappointing birthday or even flashbacks about the Night Man, I'll protect you."

Charlie's subconscious must be registering what Dee's saying, because he murmurs, "Yeah... You'll protect me."

"That's right," Dee whispers as she leans over to kiss him on the forehead. She smiles sadly. Something inside her aches for this wretched, beautiful soul, for her kindest, purest friend. She wishes that she could have protected him from the start.

**Author's Note:**

> Context/ references:  
https://youtu.be/kIWss-_5HGM
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VsiCxwyVXxQ&feature=share
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RN67KglLtLQ&feature=share
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tbLCChQzaJ0&feature=share
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=leCMTfjCEFM&feature=share
> 
> https://youtu.be/uw58LU591fA
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n8aRbFk_r7A&feature=share


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